The Gospel and Children

The great preacher Charles Spurgeon wisely instructs christian parents on the importance of communicating our personal experience when sharing the gospel with our children.

Deuteronomy 6:20–21:
When your son asks you in time to come, "What is the meaning of the testimonies and the statutes and the rules that the Lord our God has commanded you?" then you shall say to your son, "We were Pharaoh’s slaves in Egypt. And the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand."

Charles Spurgeon:

Fathers and mothers are the most natural agents for God to use in the salvation of their children. I am sure that, in my early youth, no teaching ever had such an impression upon my mind as the instruction of my mother; neither can I conceive that, to any child, there can be one who will have such influence over the young heart as the mother who has so tenderly cared for her offspring.

We should especially tell our children our own experience… Perhaps, my friend, there is no testimony that you can bear which will be so useful, so interesting and so striking, as the testimony of what you have, yourself, seen and handled of the Word of Life.

Tell the gospel as you find it in the Bible, but set it in the frame of your own experience of its preciousness! Tell your son how you sinned and how the Lord had mercy upon you. Tell him how he met with you, how you were brought to seek his face, how you were born again, how you received a new heart and a right spirit. He will think the more of this great change because it happened to his father, or to his mother, or to some kind friend. And, perhaps, if he is not himself converted as a child, in his later life he may think of what you told him or the remembrance of his mother’s God may rise before him when he is far away from the scenes of his youth and has spent many years in foolish vanities — and he may even then turn to God, beckoned back to the great Father’s House above by the memory of his godly father and mother here below.

Charles Spurgeon, "Brought Out to be Brought In."

(HT: Desiring God Blog)

Biblical Manhood

Few people can get in a man's face and challenge him to be the man God wants him to be like Pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church. In this video he challenges christian men to invest their lives in a mission and warfare that truly matter. Warning: hard core video game players, proceed with caution.

Ryle on Parenting

I don't know much about J.C. Ryle, but I this weekend I came across a website of his quotes.  While looking around there a bit, I found this brief account of his family life:

Ryle suffered through the poor health of his first two wives. At age 29, he married Matilda Plumptre. After a few years, she died leaving him a baby daughter to care for. Then, death took his mother, older brother, and younger sister. He felt like Job undergoing God’s trials.

At age 33, he married longtime friend, Jessie Walker, and once again, joy and happiness filled his rural cottage. After 6 months of marriage, Jessie developed a lingering sickness from which she never recovered. Ryle nursed her for 10 years while managing their growing family (Jessie gave birth to four children). In addition to this stress, he managed his pastoral responsibilities.

During these years, Ryle began receiving speaking engagements. Because of his love for Jessie he often traveled 30 miles in an open carriage in the dead of winter rather than spend a night away from her. In Ryle’s 43rd year, Jessie died. For a second time he was widowed, with five children for which to care.

At age 45, he was transferred to the parish at Stradbroke. There he met Henrietta Clowes and married a third time. Unlike his previous wives, Henrietta enjoyed good health. This marriage proved long and fruitful. [Henrietta died in 1889, Ryle died 11 years later in 1900] (Quote from William P. Farley)

It is with this background in mind that the website shared five extended quotes from Ryle's 34-page booklet The Duties of Parents as he explained the following five tips for raising Godly children.  Instead of merely linking to the site, I decided to include the quotes here.

1. Training Your Child to Love God Depends on You

“We heavily depend on those who bring us up. We get from them a taste and a bias which clings to us most of the days of our lives. We learn the language of our mothers and fathers, and learn to speak it almost without thinking, and unquestionably we catch something of their manners, ways, and mind at the same time. Time will tell, how much we all owe to early impressions, and how many things in us may be traced back to the seeds sown in the days of our infancy, by those who were around us.

“And all this is one of God’s merciful arrangements. He gives your children a mind that will receive impressions like moist clay. He gives them a disposition at the starting-point of life to believe what you tell them, and to take for granted what you advise them, and to trust your word rather than a stranger’s. He gives you, in short, a golden opportunity of doing them good. See that you do not neglect such an opportunity. Once you let it slip, it is gone forever.

“I know that you cannot convert your child. I know that they who are born again are born, not of the will of man, but of God. But I also know that God specifically says, ‘Train a child in the way he should go,‘ and that He never gave a command to men and women which He would not give them the grace to perform. And I also know that our duty is not to stand still and dispute the command, but to go forward and obey it. It is only when we move out in obedience that God will meet us. The path of obedience is the way in which He gives the blessing. We only have to do as the servants were commanded at the marriage feast in Cana, to fill the water-pots with water, and we may safely leave it to the Lord to turn that water into wine.”

2. Training Your Child Means Watching Over Their Soul

“Precious, no doubt, are these little ones in your eyes; but if you truly love them, then often think about their souls. Nothing should concern you as greatly as their eternal destiny. No part of them should be so dear to you as that part which will never die.

“This is the thought that should be uppermost on your mind in all that you do for your children. In every step you take about them, in every plan, and scheme, and arrangement that concerns them, do not leave out that mighty question, ‘How will this affect their souls?’

“A true Christian must not be a slave to what’s currently ‘in-fashion,’ if he wants to train his child for heaven. He must not be content to teach them and instruct them in certain ways, merely because it is customary, or to allow them to read books of a questionable sort, merely because everybody else reads them, or to let them form bad habits, merely because they are the habits of the day. He must train with an eye to his children’s souls. He must not be ashamed to hear his training called odd and strange. What if it is? The time is short—the customs of this world are passing away. He that has trained his children for heaven, rather than for the earth—for God, rather than for man—he is the parent that will be called wise in the end.”

3. Training Your Child To Know The Bible

“You cannot make your children love the Bible, I admit. No one but the Holy Spirit can give us a heart to delight in the Word. But you can make sure that your children are acquainted with the Bible; and remember that they can never become acquainted with that blessed book too soon, or too well.

“See that your children read the Bible reverently. Train them to look upon it, not as the word of men, but as it truly is, the Word of God, written by the Holy Spirit Himself—all true, all profitable, and able to make us wise for salvation through faith in Christ.

“See that they read it regularly. Train them to regard it as their soul’s daily food—as something essential to their soul’s daily health. I well know that you cannot make this anything more than a form; but there is no telling the amount of sin which a mere form may indirectly restrain.

“See that they read it all. You need not shrink from bringing any doctrine before them. You need not assume that the leading doctrines of Christianity are things which children cannot understand. Children understand far more of the Bible than we are apt to suppose.

“Fill their minds with Scripture. Let the Word dwell in them richly. Give them the Bible, the whole Bible, even while they are young.”

4. Training Your Child to Have a Habit of Prayer

“Parents, if you love your children, do all that lies within your power to train them to have a habit of prayer. Show them how to begin. Tell them what to say. Encourage them to persevere. Remind them that if they become careless and slack about it. Let it not be your fault, if they never call on the name of the Lord.

“Remember, that this is the first step in religion which a child is able to take. Long before he can read, you can teach him to kneel by his mother’s side, and repeat the simple words of prayer and praise which she puts in his mouth. And as the first steps in any undertaking are always the most important, so is the manner in which your children’s prayers are prayed, a point which deserves your closest attention. Few seem to know how much depends on this. You must be careful that they don’t say their prayers in a hasty, careless, and irreverent manner.

“Oh, dear friend, if you love your children, I charge you, do not let the early impression of a habit of prayer slip by. If you train your children to do anything, train them, at least, to have a habit of prayer.”

5. Training Your Child to Love the Church and the Lord’s Supper

“Tell your children of the duty and privilege of going to Church, and joining in the prayers of the congregation. Tell them that wherever the Lord’s people are gathered together, there the Lord Jesus is present in a special way, and that those who are absent must expect, like the Apostle Thomas, to miss out on a blessing.

“Tell them of the importance of hearing the Word of God preached, and that it is God’s ordained way of converting, sanctifying, and building up the souls of men. Tell them how the Apostle Paul commands us not to “give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but to encourage one another—and all the more as we see the Day approaching.” [Hebrews 10:25]

“It is a sad sight in a church when nobody comes to the Lord’s Table but the older people, and the young men and the young women all turn away. But it is a sadder sight still when no children are to be seen in a church, except those who come to the Sunday School, and are often obliged to attend. Let none of this guilt lie at your doors. There are many boys and girls in every city, besides those who come to Sunday School, and you who are their parents and friends should see to it that they come with you to church.

“Do not allow them to grow up with a habit of making vain excuses for not coming. Make them clearly understand, that so long as they are under your roof, it is the rule of your house for every one in good health to honor the Lord on the Lord’s day, and that you believe that the healthy person who refuses to go to church on the Lord’s Day brings great harm to his soul.

“Do not be discouraged because your children do not see the full value of church and the Lord’s Supper now. Just train them to have a habit of regular attendance. Set it before their minds as a high, holy, and solemn duty, and believe me, the day will very likely come when they will bless you for your efforts.”

Helpful Acronyms

John Piper has a handful of acronyms he's developed that are full of Scripture and designed to help him fight for joy and seek God & His righteousness in his daily life.  The first three he shared are:

• I.O.U.S. - what to pray before reading Scripture
• A.P.T.A.T. - how to seek help from God for living the Christian life (see this video previously posted on the blog)
• A.N.T.H.E.M. - strategies for fighting lust (for men & women)

The latest one he developed is A.I.M.S. and is designed to help him maintain his Christ-consciousness throughout the day.  He explains:

Two times in his second letter Peter said he meant to stir us up "by way of reminder" (2 Peter 1:13; 3:1). This is what I need all day long. Reminders of massive truth.

If my mind is empty or worldly, my faith languishes. My joy in Christ weakens. I need truth. "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32).

My mind needs glory: "Set your minds on things that are above" (Colossians 3:2). I need to think on excellent praiseworthy reality:. "If there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things" (Philippians 4:8).

But my mind drifts into banal and trivial things. And my soul shrivels.

What shall I do? I "will call to mind" amazing things about God (Lamentations 3:21). I will "remember" his all-gracious covenant (1 Chronicles 16:15). I will set my mind on "the things of the Spirit" (Romans 8:5). I will "consider his wondrous works" (Psalm 106:7).

How?

Among other ways, with A.I.M.S. Through the day I will pause and ask, What are you’re A.I.M.S. And I will answer:

A. I will call to mind the stupendous truth that Jesus is ALIVE. (Luke 24:5–6)

"Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here, but has risen."

I. I will remember the breathtaking reality that Jesus is IN me. (Romans 8:10).

"Christ is in you."

M. I will ponder the all-comforting fact that Jesus is MIGHTY. (Matthew 28:18).

"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me."

S. And I will savor the sweetness that Jesus is SATISFYING. (John 6:35)

"Whoever believes in me shall never thirst."

Key To Obedience

On my good mornings, I try to take a few minutes before leaving for work and read a daily excerpt from Elyse Fitzpatrick's outstanding book Comforts from the Cross - Celebrating the Gospel One Day at a Time. I cannot recommend this book strongly enough.



I want to share a few highlights from a passage I read a few weeks ago. The book is made up of thirty-one 2-3 page writings that focus on the centrality of the gospel. The notes from the chapter I am going to highlight discuss John 14:15 - "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." Fitzpatrick attempts to explain the key to a life lived in obedience to Christ. I will share a hodgepodge of her comments.

If love for God isn't present in our heart, then Godward obedience will be absent in our life.

Jesus is lovingly stating a fact (John 14:15), but he's also making a precious promise: love will motivate behavior...... But he also knows this: as our love for him grows, our obedience will grow, too.


The key to a godly life is not more and more self-generated effort. Instead, Jesus is saying "Love me and your obedience will flow naturally from that love". The secret to obedience isn't formulaic steps found in a self-help book. It is a relentless pursuit of love for him. How then do I cultivate the sincerity of love that motivates obedience? By focusing more intently on his love for me than on my love for him, more on his obedience than mine, more on his faithfulness than mine, more on his strengths than mine.


"We love because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19). The plain truth is that my love for God (and hence, my obedience) will grow as I cultivate my comprehension of his vast love for me. This is the wonderful promise of our Savior and the only sure method for true growth in godliness.


If we neglect this key by focusing too narrowly on ourselves, our success or failure, then we'll become mired down in guilt or pride, neither of which will stimulate loving obedience. If, on the other hand, we intently focus on how we've been loved, irrevocably, eternally, freely, and without merit, if we contemplate how our obedience (or lack of it) doesn't faze his love one whit, then we'll find within our hearts a growing desire to obey. Why? Because love like that changes people. It draws us toward him; it makes us want to be like him; it makes obedience attractive. Resting in the awareness of our perfect acceptance before him and in his intense desire to have us for his own will cause us to want to please him. It will make us love him, and love for him will always eventuate in godliness.


His love is fervent, eternal, uncompromising. Rest there, drink there, luxuriate in the warm sunshine of his smile; grow strong in his everlasting embrace. Confront your own sinfulness, yes, but only after you've remembered his love for you. Then love him and obey.

It Is Finished

I read part of an interview with Tullian Tchividjian tonight, and it made me think of our discussion of faith & works in James this morning:

So how did Christians become legalists about the whole idea of sanctification, where did we get it wrong do you think?


Tullian: I think since Genesis 3, we have all been prone towards works righteousness. Our heart is bent to do it on our own and that doesn’t go away after we become Christians. We still drift into what Jerry Bridges calls the “performance treadmill.”


For instance, none of us has a problem saying that our good works don’t get us in. We know our good works don’t get us in. Any good works are as filthy rags because we’re justified by grace alone through faith alone and the finished work of Christ alone. We acknowledge that.


But once God saves us it gets weird because we start thinking, OK, my good works do keep God’s favor. My good works may have not earned God’s favor, but it’s up to me to keep God’s favor. As a result, we become the hero of the story. We become the centerpiece of our own narrative, and Jesus is sitting on the sidelines and we’re on the field and he’s like, “Put me in, coach,” and we’re like, “No. We got it. Thanks for getting us on the field, but we’ll take it from here.” And we add all sorts of things.


...


The good news of the gospel is that my standing with God is not dependent on my obedience but Christ’s obedience for me. People will say, “Well, you can’t say that because then what impetus will you have to get people to do what they need to do?” and I simply go back and give them an illustration and say, “Listen: if I know that my wife loves me unconditionally—whether I’m being nice or whether I’m being a jerk—does that make me want to be more of a jerk?” [Laughing] It actually makes me want to be nicer. The thing that makes me want to love my wife more is when she loves me when I’m not being nice.


That’s the kindness of the Lord that Paul says leads to repentance. It’s the amazing grace of God, the unconditional favor of God given to us because of what Christ has done that transforms the human heart and turns us into the kind of people the Bible describes.

This was from part 3 of the interview.  You can also check out part 1 and part 2.

Good Parenting Reads

In full disclosure, I am addicted to blogs. I love reading them. I love the wisdom that they can share. I love the practical application that can be learned.

In the past few weeks, a couple of my favorite blogs have had some great stuff on parenting. Enjoy!

1o Ways to Love Your Kids

How do you discern the conversion of a child?

For Parents Who Have Failed

How Dad's Can Impact Their Daughter's Lives

James 2:1-13

Since we won't be having our regular lesson this Sunday in Life Group (don't forget to join us Sunday to hear Dr. Amon Kasambala, CEO of Focus on the Family Africa) I wanted to share some thoughts & notes along with some questions you would have received on the class handout.  Maybe we can have our class discussion here on the blog this week.

Here are some links to help you navigate this post:

• Text of James 2:1-13
• Lesson Introduction
• Opening Discussion Questions
• Explanation
• Command Against Favoritism
• An Example of Favoritism
• Three Reasons it’s Bad
• Reason 1: God has a special concern for the poor.
• Reason 2: A special esteem for the rich is misguided.
• Reason 3: Favoritism violates the command to “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
• Application Questions

James 2:1-13 (ESV)

[2:1] My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. [2] For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, [3] and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” [4] have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? [5] Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him? [6] But you have dishonored the poor man. Are not the rich the ones who oppress you, and the ones who drag you into court? [7] Are they not the ones who blaspheme the honorable name by which you were called?
[8] If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well. [9] But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors. [10] For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it. [11] For he who said, “Do not commit adultery,” also said, “Do not murder.” If you do not commit adultery but do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law. [12] So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty. [13] For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

Against Favoritism - Introduction

In chapter two James continues the theme of being doers of the Word by addressing the problem of favoritism. The big idea of this section is found in verse one where James commands fellow Christians not to show favoritism. The remaining verses explain this command further by offering an example and giving three reasons against treating people with partiality.

Discussion

Our culture has trained us to categorize people. What are some of the categories we use to define people? How do these categories influence how we approach or treat people?

Explanation

Command Against Favoritism (v. 1)

• Showing favoritism means making value judgments about a person based upon external appearances. It is judging others based on the world’s criteria.
• Showing favoritism/partiality is inconsistent with God’s character. (cf. Deuteronomy 10:17-18)
• Why does James refer to Jesus as the “Lord of glory”? We'll come back to this.

An Example of Favoritism (vv. 2 – 4)

• This example is just one hypothetical scenario demonstrating favoritism; however, based on v. 6 we can infer it is something that James’ readers were likely guilty of.
• The rich/poor difference is a perpetual source of showing favoritism. It is easy to show favoritism to the rich to try and get something for ourselves – some of their riches, a reputation, career opportunities, self-esteem, etc.
• When we do this, we're essentially judging the poor, saying they're of no value to us.

Three Reasons it’s Bad (vv. 5 – 13)

• 
  Reason 1: God has a special concern for the poor.
  • James points out that God chooses the poor (often financially, always spiritually) to become rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom
  • At the end of chapter one, James spoke of the orphan and widow being the objects of affection by pure & undefiled religion. These people were representative of the poor & helpless in society.
  • Once again James points out something that God has promised to those who love Him. In 1:12, it was the crown of life, here it's His kingdom.
  • This idea of being heirs of the kingdom connects back to verse 1, with Christ being referred to as the Lord of glory. These truths stand in stark contrast to the gold ring and fine clothing of the man in James's hypothetical example.
  • Did Jesus wear a gold ring & fine clothing to attract us to Him? I think instead of the crown of thorns. I think of Isaiah's prophecy:

    “... his appearance was so marred, beyond human semblance, and his form beyond that of the children of mankind” (Isaiah 52:14)

    “For he grew up before him like a young plant, and like a root out of dry ground; he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.” (Isaiah 52:2-5)

  • Jesus didn't have the glory of a rich man. Instead He offers the glory of being co-heirs of the Kingdom. Only He has the glory worth elevating and admiring. While the riches of man will pass away, Christ's glory will never fade.
  • “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich.” (2 Corinthians 8:9)
  • If Christ became poor in order that we could become heirs of the Kingdom, why would we be captivated by earthly treasure that that is fleeting?
• 
  Reason 2: A special esteem for the rich is misguided.
  • The rich are often the very people who are persecuting Christians. Why would you show them favoritism?
  • This comes across to me about as logical as trying to appease a bully and expecting them to no longer be a bully.
  • As James's rightful assertion that God chooses the poor in the world to be rich in faith, we can remember how Christ Himself spoke of how hard it is for the rich to enter the Kingdom (Matthew 19:16-30) and how He taught us to store up treasures in heaven, not on earth (Matthew 6:19-21)
• 
  Reason 3: Favoritism violates the command to “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
  • Ultimately, we are called to be merciful, because we have received mercy. We are to be ready to show mercy to everyone who crosses our paths.
  • James's statement that “judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy” (v. 13) seems to be the flipside of Jesus's statement in the Sermon on the Mount: “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.” (Matthew 5:7)
  • Michael Lawrence rightly states: “At the cross of Jesus Christ, mercy triumphed over judgment.”
  • Lawrence sums up this portion of James like this:

    “Faith that is acceptable to God speaks & acts like one living under mercy. There is no room for pride, because mercy is fundamentally undeserved. There is no room for boasting, unless it is to boast in Christ alone. There is no room for favoritism or discrimination because faith understands that the privileges of this world, whether those be privileges of skin or wealth or gender or age are worthless in comparison to the privilege of being called a child of God. Faith demonstrates itself by being a display of mercy. It does not ignore obedience. Rather it obeys out of a different motive, a motive of love for the one who saved us.” (Listen to Lawrence's message in full here)

  • John Piper puts it this way:

    “A Christian is a person who has seen, tasted, and lives on the mercy of God in Christ. That's who you are. Let's be very clear here now. You do not get a saving relationship with Jesus by finding human willpower and techniques to become a merciful person and then say, 'Did I measure up? Will you take me now, Jesus?' That will never happen in a million years. Rather, Jesus comes to us as sinners. He folds us into His forgiveness and His justification by faith alone and we are so stunned, so awakened, so marveling at the mercy that we've been shown, that we are crushed to the ground in our pride, elevated in happy humble security and oozing mercy. Are you oozing mercy? If not, have you tasted mercy? Have you felt how horrible you are, how unworthy you are to be accepted, and then felt His arms absolutely undeserving around you saying, 'I will pay your debt. I will be your righteousness' and find yourself flying with gratitude and joy and peace?” (read or listen to Piper's message in full here)

Application

• James gives one example of showing favoritism. What are some more sophisticated or subtle ways that we tend to do this?
• Our selfish desires can influence the way we treat others. How does the gospel free us from the temptation to treat people with partiality?
• What are some practical ways to keep favoritism from creeping into our thinking and affecting the way in which we relate with people?