I recently read a blog post by this name, written by Adam Griffin at The Village Church's blog. When a friend of mine linked to this on Facebook, I couldn't read the title and not read the full post. And it was well worth it. Very thought provoking. Here's a portion of it:
I have a strong, and certainly not uncommon, desire for my child to be validated by the love of other people. Most parents want their son or daughter to be a lovable person, and it’s that desire that makes John 15:19 so important and so transformative when it comes to the way we prepare our children for the future. Christ tells His disciples, “If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” It’s not just John 15:19, either. There are many Scriptures that describe the adversarial relationship that God’s followers will have with those who are not believers.
Reading this, I realized that if God answers my prayer for my son to be a follower of Christ, people will hate him. People will absolutely, unquestionably be repulsed by my son.
From Crossway's website, a description of John Piper's poem, The Innkeeper:
Only two weeks from his crucifixion, Jesus has stopped in Bethlehem. He has returned to visit someone important—the innkeeper who made a place for Mary and Joseph the night he was born. But His greater purpose in coming is to pay a debt. What did it cost to house the Son of God?
Through this imaginative poem, John Piper shares a tale of what might have been – the story of an innkeeper whose life was forever altered by the arrival of the Son of God.
Ponder the sacrifice that was made that night. Celebrate Christ’s birth and the power of His resurrection. Rejoice in the life and light He brings to all. And encounter the hope His life gives you for today – and for eternity.
Here's Piper reading the poem:
I'm more than a week late in posting this, but Desiring God also has a good Advent resource that Trisha and I have been going through. It's a free ebook/PDF, called Good News of Great Joy, and it's a collection of devotional readings for each day of Advent. I'd encourage you to check it out.
Today in Life Group our lesson came on the heel's of last week's sermon "What If I Knew That All My Sins Could Be Forgiven?" (You can find the sermon notes & Life Group study guide here.) As usual, we had a lot of good discussion as we looked mainly at Hebrews 9 and considered the fullness & sufficiency of the forgiveness that we have in Christ. Here are the notes I used this morning. Scripture quotations come from the English Standard Version.
Life
Group Study Guide
October
28, 2012
Into
the Bible
Jesus
is uniquely able to forgive all of our sins because He alone is the
perfect sacrifice on our behalf. His death sets us free!
Read
Hebrews 9
v.
1-5 – tabernacle, which preceded the temple
v.
6-10 – priests
Day
of Atonement – once a year, every year
only
ceremonial cleansing, not true removal of sin or clearing of
conscience
Our
consciences are purified by Christ's sacrifice (where they couldn't
be by the blood of bulls & goats)
v.
15-22 – Christ is the mediator of the new covenant
An
eternal inheritance is promised to God's people
We've
been redeemed from our sins
This
new covenant was inaugurated/took effect with Christ's death
v.
22 - “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of
sins
v.
23-28 – Christ offered himself once for all
The
tabernacle (& temple) and the priests and the sacrifices were
merely copies, or shadows, of the heavenly realities.
Unlike
the repeated sacrifices of the Levitical & Aaronic priesthood,
Christ “has appeared once for all at the end of the ages to put
away sin by the sacrifice of himself.” (v. 26)
Christ
bore the sins of many (v. 28)
Q: In what ways do we
struggle at times with experiencing forgiveness? How does the
completeness of Christ’s sacrifice help you to experience and
embrace His forgiveness?
The burden of not
letting go of past failures and sin are often a result of not being
able to forgive ourselves. Thankfully, our forgiveness does not
depend on our ability to forgive ourselves.
Our spiritual growth
can be hindered by carrying around the weight or guilt of past sin.
Q: What practical
actions/verses/truths have you found helpful in letting go of burdens
and finding freedom in Christ’s forgiveness?
Micah
7:19 – "He will again have compassion on us; he will tread our
iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of
the sea."
Isaiah
43:25 – “I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my
own sake, and I will not remember your sins.”
Psalm
103:12 – "as far as the east is from the west, so far does he
remove our transgressions from us."
Q: How do these word
pictures help you understand and know God’s forgiveness better?
Living
out God's Word
Read
Colossians 1:21-22 – "And you, who once were alienated
and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his
body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and
blameless and above reproach before him"
Feel
free to split up into small groups of two to four people. Spend some
time offering thanksgiving together that we no longer need to be
alienated from God, but instead are reconciled by Christ.
Remind
yourself throughout the week that in Christ you are without
blemish and free from accusation.
Here are some passages that I came up with while
studying this week that I find helpful to remind me of the fullness
of the forgiveness that we have in Christ:
Colossians
2:13-15 – "And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the
uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him,
having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of
debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside,
nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and
put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him."
Hebrews
10:12-14 – "But when Christ had offered for all time a single
sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God, waiting
from that time until his enemies should be made a footstool for his
feet. For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those
who are being sanctified."
Ephesians
1:3-14 – "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus
Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in
the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation
of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In
love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ,
according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious
grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have
redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses,
according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in
all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will,
according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for
the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven
and things on earth.
"In him
we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to
the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of
his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to
the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of
truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed
with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our
inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his
glory.
Ephesians
2:1-10 – And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which
you once walked, following the course of this world, following the
prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the
sons of disobedience—among whom we all once lived in the passions
of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and
were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God,
being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved
us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together
with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with
him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so
that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his
grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have
been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the
gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we
are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which
God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
Galatians
1:3-5 – "Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord
Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins to deliver us from the
present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to
whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen."
Galatians
4:4-7 – "But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth
his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were
under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because
you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts,
crying, 'Abba! Father!' So you are no longer a slave, but a son,
and if a son, then an heir through God."
Galatians
5:1 – "For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore,
and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery."
2
Corinthians 4:13-14 – "Since we have the same spirit of faith
according to what has been written, 'I believed, and so I spoke,' we also believe, and so we also speak, knowing that he who raised the
Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into
his presence."
2
Corinthians 5:17-21 – "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is
a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and
gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was
reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses
against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.
Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal
through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.
For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we
might become the righteousness of God."
Mark
10:45 – 'For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to
serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.'
Isaiah
53:5 – "But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was
crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that
brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed."
Philippians
1:6 – "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in
you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."
Philippians
3:8-9 – "Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the
surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have
suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order
that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a
righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes
through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on
faith"
Romans
1:16 – "For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power
of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and
also to the Greek."
Romans
3:21-26 – "But now the righteousness of God has been manifested
apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to
it—the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all
who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and
fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a
gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put
forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This
was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he
had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the
present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one
who has faith in Jesus."
Romans
5:1-11 – "Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we
have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we
have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand,
and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we
rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,
and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and
hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured
into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
"For
while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the
ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though
perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows
his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for
us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much
more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we
were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much
more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More
than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ,
through whom we have now received reconciliation."
Romans
6:9-11 – "We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will
never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death
he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives
to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to
God in Christ Jesus."
Romans
6:22-23 – "But now that you have been set free from sin and have
become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and
its end, eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free
gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans
8:1-4 – "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who
are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you
free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done
what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own
Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in
the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might
be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according
to the Spirit."
Romans
8:28-39 – "And we know that for those who love God all things
work together for good, for those who are called according to his
purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be
conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the
firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also
called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he
justified he also glorified.
"What
then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be
against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us
all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who
shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies.
Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that,
who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is
interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or
nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,
'For
your sake we are being killed all the day long; we
are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.'
"No, in
all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved
us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers,
nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor
depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us
from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Hebrews
10:19-25 – "Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to
enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living
way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his
flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us
draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our
hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed
with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without
wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to
stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet
together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and
all the more as you see the Day drawing near."
You're singing along, aren't you? This catchy melody was responsible for teaching you one of the most foundational facts you ever learned.
That's the way music works. It teaches. It forms us.
We don't need scientific studies to know that music and melody fuses truth into our memories and intellects. We can all observe how melody infuses meaning, emotions, affections, and experiences into words. It takes lyrics to new heights and depths that they couldn't go on their own.
As a church musician, I'm not trying to downplay the formative importance of preaching. But I couldn't tell you the take-home point of two sermons I heard growing up, no matter how clever the preacher's alliteration. But I still sing "Holy Holy Holy" word for word. I know "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" by heart. "The Solid Rock" is an ever-present companion for me in difficult times. Those songs have given me a vocabulary to express myself. I have learned the truth of God in a way that will stay with me for a lifetime.
Have you ever been distracted by another person while sitting in the worship service on Sunday morning? Yeah, me too. I found this post, titled "Oh, Behave! Conduct Worthy of the Gospel in Corporate Worship" to hit close to home. Here's how it begins:
Other Christians. Can't do corporate worship without them, and yet sometimes it feels like we can't really do corporate worship with them either.
How nice would it be if everyone would just mind their manners in weekend worship? So thinks our old self.
Let's admit it. We're tough on others, easy on ourselves. We assume others should give us the benefit of the doubt---which is the very thing we don't give to others.
She's the reason I'm distracted, the old self tells us.
If he weren't singing so loud---and so off key . . .
If they would just get off their iPads and smart phones. I'm sure they're all doing emails, or social media, rather than looking at the Bible text or taking notes.
We love to blame our neighbor, or the worship leader, for our inability to engage in corporate worship. But the deeper problem usually belongs to the one who is distracted. Few things are more hypocritical than showing up to a worship gathering of the Friend of Sinners and bellyaching that other sinners showed up too.
I highly recommend clicking over to read the full thing, which includes "a few suggestions for how to think well of and for others in corporate worship."
Has this book given you a more
serious or profound view of marriage?
Do you ever hear people ask if
divorce is legal? Or good? Or right?
What did Moses write (in Genesis
through Deuteronomy) about divorce? About marriage?
Notes & Quotes
Bonhoeffer: “God joins you
together in marriage; it is his act, not yours.” (quoted on p.
156)
Divorce is more painful than the
death of a spouse
“Death is usually clean pain.
Divorce is usually unclean pain. In other words, the enormous loss
of a spouse in death is compounded in divorce by the ugliness of
sin and moral outrage at being so wronged.” (p. 158)
The effects of divorce ripple to
all facets of life – work, family, friends, children, finances
Two ways to respond in love &
care to divorce:
1) Come alongside & stand
by the divorced person & help them find their way to enjoy
forgiveness & new obedience in Christ
2) Articulate a hatred of
divorce & do all we can to prevent it
These two ways both need to
happen
“One of the reasons that I
have emphasized the ultimate meaning of marriage so much in these
chapters is that the meaning of marriage is such that human beings
cannot legitimately break it. The ultimate meaning of marriage
is the representation of the covenant-keeping love between Christ
and his church.” (p. 159)
“if
Christ ever abandons and discards his church, then a man may
divorce his wife. And if the blood-bought church, under the new
covenant, ever ceases to be the bride of Christ, then a wife may
legitimately divorce her husband. But as long as Christ keeps his
covenant with the church, and as long as the church, by the
omnipotent grace of God, remains the chosen people of Christ, then
the very meaning of marriage will include: What God has
joined, only God can separate.”
(p. 159)
“I pray
that one of the effects of this book will be to make us as a
people profoundly serious about the sacredness of marriage.” (p.
159)
Marriage “is
the work of God, not man, and it does not lie in man’s
prerogative to end it.” (p. 160)
“Let me
say cautiously and seriously: Those who scorn the design of God
and the glory of Christ and build their lives and businesses and
whole industries around making divorce cheap and easy are under
the wrath of God and need to repent and seek his forgiveness
through Christ before it is too late.” (p. 160)
When the
Pharisees question Jesus about the lawfulness of divorce in Mark
10, Jesus asks them what Moses commanded. The Pharisees quote
from Deuteronomy. But Moses also wrote Genesis.
“there
are laws in the Old Testament that are not expressions of God’s
will for all time, but expressions of how best to manage sin in a
particular people at a particular time.” (p. 160)
Divorce is
never commanded or instituted in Old Testament Israel
It was
permitted & regulated, like polygamy & slavery, because of
the hardness of the peoples' hearts
Jesus goes
back to creation and how God created things to be
How does
Jesus handle the tension between Genesis 1-2 and Deuteronomy 24?
“Will the
emphasis fall on the fact that in the church there is still
hardness of heart, or will the emphasis fall on the fact that the
old has passed away and the new has come (2 Cor. 5:17)?” (p.
161)
2) verse 9
- “What therefore God has joined together”
This union
of marriage is God's work, not man's
Despite
our actions & decisions & ceremonies, “God is the main
actor in the event of marriage.” (p. 161)
3) verse 9
- “let not man separate”
“If
God
joined the man and woman in marriage, then mere humans
have no right to separate what he joined.” (p. 162)
“Since
God created this sacred union with this sacred purpose to display
the unbreakable firmness of his covenant love for his people, it
simply does not lie within man’s rights to destroy what God
created.” (p. 162)
Jesus says it's not lawful to
divorce because it contradicts the design & meaning of
marriage
“He is calling his followers
to a higher standard than the compromise with hardness of heart
in Deuteronomy.” (p. 162)
“Jesus came not only to
fulfill the law in his own work, he came to take his people to a
radical understanding of the law and a radical obedience to the
law that is not based on law but on himself, and therefore
reflects the fullness of what God wills for us— and especially
reflects the gospel, the covenant-keeping work of Christ at
Calvary for his church. Marriage among Christians is mainly meant
to tell the truth about the gospel—that Christ died for his
church who loves him and never breaks his covenant with his
bride.” (p. 163)
“In essence, Jesus says, “You
have heard that it was said, ‘You are permitted to divorce.’
But I say to you, ‘I have come to conquer the hardness of your
heart. I have come to die for your sins. I have come to count you
as righteous. I have come to show you the drama that marriage was
meant to represent in my sacrificial, covenant-keeping love for my
sinful bride. I have come to give you the power to stay married,
or to stay single, so that either way you keep your promises and
show what my covenant is like and how sacred is the covenant bond
of marriage.’ ” ” (p. 163)
Jesus is blunt in Mark 10,
telling the disciples that remarriage after divorce is adultery
“Keep your marriage vows in
such a way as to tell the truth about the unbreakable covenant
love of Christ.” (p. 164)
So what about those who have
divorced?
“I want to emphasize that what
Jesus says here in Mark 10:10–12 is incredibly good news—even
to those who have been divorced and are remarried. Here’s why:
Jesus says, “Don’t divorce your spouse and marry someone else.
If you do, you’ve committed adultery.” Why is it adultery?
Ultimately, it is adultery because it betrays the truth about
Christ that marriage is meant to display. Jesus never, never does
that to his bride, the church. He never forsakes her. He never
abandons her. He never abuses her. He always loves her. He always
takes her back when she wanders. He always is patient with her. He
always cares for her and provides for her and protects her and,
wonder of wonders, delights in her. And you—you who are married
once, married five times, married never—if you repent and trust
Christ—receive him as the Treasure who bore your punishment and
became your righteousness—you are in the bride. And that is how
he relates to you. “Everyone who believes in him receives
forgiveness of sins through his name” (Acts 10:43).” (p. 164)
“The radical call of Jesus
never to divorce and remarry is a declaration of the gospel by
which people who have failed may be saved. If Christ were not this
way, we would all be undone. But this is how true, how faithful,
how forgiving he is. Therefore, we are saved.” (p. 164)
Chapter 15: What God Has Joined
Together, Let Not Man Separate: The Gospel and the Divorced
Bonhoeffer: “It is a blessed
thing to know that no power on earth, no temptation, no human
frailty can dissolve what God holds together; indeed, anyone who
knows that may say confidently: What God has joined together, can
no man put asunder.” (quoted on p. 166)
Review from Chapter 14: Two ways
to be compassionate & caring in relation to divorce
1) “come alongside divorced
persons while they grieve and (wherever necessary) repent, and to
stay by them through the painful transitions, and to fold them
into our lives, and to help them find a way to enjoy the
forgiveness and the strength for new kinds of obedience that
Christ has already obtained for them when he died and rose
again.” (p. 167-168)
2) “articulate hatred for
divorce, and why it is against the will of God, and to do all we
can biblically to keep it from happening.” (p. 168)
Divorce makes many people single
again, sometimes against their will
“If we are going to stand for
marriage as the lifelong commitment to one living spouse,
then we must be prepared to love single, divorced people with all
our hearts and homes and families.” (p. 168)
Can a divorced person still
honor his or her marriage vows?
“since God is the one who
decisively makes every marriage, only God has the right to
break a marriage. And he does it by death. Which is why the
traditional and biblical marriage vows have one and only one
limitation: “Till death do us part,” or “As long as we both
shall live.” ” (p. 168-169)
Four pressing biblical &
practical questions
1) “Does death end a marriage
in such a way that it is legitimate for a spouse to remarry?”
(p. 169)
“My answer is that
remarriage, while a divorced spouse is still living, is an act
of unfaithfulness to the marriage covenant. In that sense, to
remarry is adultery. We promised, “Till death do us part”
because that is what God says marriage is, and even if our
spouse breaks his or her covenant vows, we will not break ours.”
(p. 170)
This second marriage, though
sinful in its beginning, should not be broken – it is a real
marriage
“I don’t think that a
couple who repents and seeks God’s forgiveness and receives
his cleansing should think of their lives as ongoing adultery,
even though, in the eyes of Jesus, that’s how the relationship
started.” (p. 170)
Three reasons for this view:
1) The language of defilement
in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 of a divorced woman remarrying is similar
to Jesus' language of adultery
“And yet the second
marriage stood. It was defiling in some sense, yet it was
valid.” (p. 170)
2) Jesus implies that all
five of the woman from Samaria's husbands were really husbands
(John 4:18) – they were real marriages
“Not that it’s right to
divorce and marry five times. But the way Jesus speaks of it
sounds as though he saw them as real marriages. Illicit.
Adulterous to enter into, but real. Valid.” (p. 170)
3) “even vows that should
not be made, once they are made, should generally be kept.”
(p. 171)
This isn't absolute in every
situation, but we see this in places such as Joshua's vow to
the Gibeonites in Joshua 9
“it would have been more
in keeping with God’s revealed will not to remarry, but
adding the sin of another covenant-breaking does not please
God more.”
Interesting footnote: “The
imposed divorces of Ezra 10:6ff. are an exception to this
rule that is probably owing to the unique situation of ethnic
Israel under the old covenant living among idolatrous pagan
peoples and breaking God’s law not to intermarry with them.
We know from 1 Corinthians 7:13 and 1 Peter 3:1–6 that the
Christian answer to mixed marriages between a Christian and a
non-Christian is not divorce.” (footnote, p. 171)
“There are marriages in
the church I serve that are second marriages for one or both
partners, which, in my view, should not have happened, but are
today godly marriages—marriages that are clean and holy, and
in which forgiven, justified husbands and wives please God by
the way they relate to each other. As forgiven, cleansed,
Spirit-led followers of Jesus, they are not committing
adultery in their marriages. These marriages began as they
should not have but have become holy.” (p. 171)
3) “If an unbelieving spouse
insists on leaving a believing spouse, what should the believing
spouse do?” (p. 171)
Interesting note – where
Paul says, “I, not the Lord,” Piper says: “which I
think means, I don’t have a specific command from the
historical teachings of Jesus, but I am led by his Spirit”
(p. 171)
“marriage is such a holy
union in God’s eyes that a believer, a child of God, is not
defiled by having sexual relations with an enemy of the cross;
and the children are not born with any kind of special
contamination because the father or mother is an enemy of
Christ. They’re not saved by being married to a believer or
born to a believer, but they are set apart for proper and holy
use in the marriage.” (p. 171-172)
A believer should not fight
their unbelieving spouse if they want a divorce
Four reasons Piper thinks “not
enslaved” (1 Corinthians 7:15) does not mean free to remarry:
1) Paul would not have spoken
– and does not speak – of singleness as slavery. He is
saying they are not enslaved to remain in a marriage that an
unbeliever is forsaking.
2) Paul points in the
opposite direction in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 – to either be
reconciled or remain unmarried
3) 1 Corinthians 7:16 –
Since you don't know if your unbelieving spouse will be saved,
“you can’t use that as an argument to create a fight to
stay married.” (p. 173)
“you are not enslaved to
this marriage when your unbelieving spouse demands out,
because you have no assurance that fighting to stay in will
save him.” (p. 173)
“Paul and Jesus are of one
mind that followers of Jesus are radically devoted to one
husband or one wife as long as they both shall live. This ideal
tells the gospel truth most clearly: Christ died for his bride
and never forsakes her.” (p. 173)
4) “Are there no exceptions
to the prohibition of remarriage while the spouse is living?”
(p. 173)
Piper's answer, though he
admits it's a minority opinion: No.
The “exception clause” of
Matthew 19:3-12 is “the main argument for lawful divorce and
remarriage in cases of adultery.” (p. 173)
Most scholars believe that
Matthew 19:9 means that both divorce & remarriage is allowed
in this case.
But Piper asks, “Is that
what Jesus meant?” (p. 174)
Jesus doesn't say “except
for adultery” but “except for sexual immorality.”
“I think what Jesus is doing
is warning his readers that this absolute prohibition against
remarriage does not apply to the situation of betrothal, where
fornication may have happened.” (p. 174)
Consider the story of Joseph &
Mary in Matthew 1.
“Matthew says that Joseph
was “just” or “righteous” (dikaios) in resolving to
“divorce” Mary. There is no suggestion that Joseph would
have been prohibited from marrying someone after “divorcing”
Mary in this betrothed situation. My conclusion is that in
Matthew 19:9, the inspired apostle is showing us that Jesus’
prohibition of remarriage does not apply to Joseph’s kind of
situation.” (p. 174)
While this view may not be
widely held, it seems to flow from the high view of marriage
that Piper has been speaking of throughout the book, and it also
seems to be consistent with Jesus's teaching elsewhere that
elevates the expectations for Christians – such as elevating
lust & anger to the level of adultery & murder.
“Whether you agree with me
concerning the grounds of divorce and remarriage or not, I pray
that we will all recognize the deepest and highest meaning of
marriage—not sexual intimacy, as good as that is, not
friendship, or mutual helpfulness, or childbearing, or
child-rearing, but the flesh-and-blood display in the world of the
covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church. That is what
I pray you will pursue, in your marriage or your singleness.
Through the gospel God gives us the
power we need to love each other in this covenant-keeping way. We
know this because in Matthew 19:11, after his radical call to
faithfulness in marriage, Jesus said, “Not everyone can receive
this saying, but only those to whom it is given.” It is given to
those who follow Christ. We are not left alone. He is with us to
help us. If we have been sinned against, he will make it right
sooner or later (Rom. 12:19). He will give us the grace to
flourish while we wait. And if we have sinned, he will give the
grace to repent and receive forgiveness and move forward in
radical new obedience.
The gospel of
Christ crucified for our sins is the foundation of our lives.
Marriage exists to display it. And when marriage breaks down, the
gospel is there to forgive and heal and sustain until he comes, or
until he calls.” (p. 175)
Dietrich Bonhoeffer: “Marriage
is more than your love for each other. It has a higher dignity and
power, for it is God’s holy ordinance, through which he wills to
perpetuate the human race till the end of time.” (quoted on p.
136)
Review: “the main meaning of
marriage is to display the covenant-keeping love between Christ
and his church. In other words, marriage was designed by God, most
deeply and most importantly, to be a parable or a drama of the way
Christ loves his church and the way he calls the church to love
him. This is the most important thing for all husbands and wives
to know about the meaning of their marriage.” (p. 137)
“Marriage is a magnificent
thing because it is modeled on something magnificent and points to
something magnificent.” (p. 138)
Having babies is an important,
biblical meaning & purpose of marriage, but it is not the
primary/ultimate meaning or purpose of marriage.
This purpose, of having babies,
is not merely to add to the number of people on the earth, but to
add to the number of disciples of Jesus Christ.
You don't have to have
biological children in order to make children disciples of Christ.
“God’s purpose in making
marriage the place to have children was never merely to fill the
earth with people, but to fill the earth with worshippers of the
true God.” (p. 139)
Piper's goals for this chapter:
1) “to see that God’s
original plan in creation was for men and women to marry and have
children.” (p. 139)
“the meaning of marriage
normally includes, by God’s design, giving birth to children
and raising them in Christ.” (p. 139)
“Marriage is the place for
making children and filling the earth with the knowledge of the
Lord the way the waters cover the sea (cf. Hab. 2:14).” (p.
140)
“from beginning to end, the
Bible puts a huge value on having and raising and blessing
children.” (p. 140)
2) “to see that in the fallen
world we live in, not only is marrying not an absolute calling on
all people (as we have seen), but neither is producing children
in marriage an absolute calling on all couples.” (p. 139)
“while the meaning of
marriage normally includes giving birth to children, this is not
absolute.” (p. 140)
The decision to have children
is analogous to that of getting married
Spiritual influence on
children may be through adoption, foster care, backyard Bible
clubs, hospitality to neighborhood kids, nursery, Sunday
school, in addition to biological children
“among Christians,
mothering and fathering by procreation is natural and good and
even glorious when Christ is in it. But it is not absolute.
Aiming to bring spiritual children into being is absolute.
Marriage is for making children. Yes. But not absolutely.
Absolutely marriage is for making children followers of Jesus.”
(p. 142)
3) To see “what Ephesians
6:1–4 says about how marriage becomes the means for making
children disciples of Jesus.” (p. 139)
3) Unity of father &
mother is important – having the same goal - “the
discipline and instruction of the Lord” (verse 4)
Work out how this unity will
play out in your house
4) “The most fundamental
task of a mother and father is to show God to the children.”
(p. 143)
“Children know their
parents before they know God. This is a huge responsibility
and should cause every parent to be desperate for God-like
transformation.” (p. 143)
“The chief task of
parenting is to know God for who he is in his many
attributes—especially as he has revealed himself in the
person of Jesus and his cross—and then to live in such a way
with our children that we help them see and know this
multi-faceted God. And, of course, that will involve directing
them always to the infallible portrait of God in the Bible.”
(p. 144)
5) “God has ordained that
both mother and father be involved in raising the children
because they are husband and wife before they are mother and
father.” (p. 144)
God's “design is that
children grow up watching Christ love the church and watching
the church delight in following Christ. His design is that the
beauty and strength and wisdom of this covenant relationship
be absorbed by the children from the time they are born.”
(p. 144)
“the deepest meaning of
marriage—displaying the covenant love between Christ and the
church—is underneath this other meaning of marriage—making
children disciples of Jesus. It is all woven together. Good
marriages make good places for children to grow up and see the
glory of Christ’s covenant-keeping love.” (p. 144)
Chapter 13: Marriage Is Meant
for Making Children . . . Disciples of Jesus: The Conquest of Anger
in Father and Child
Dietrich Bonhoeffer: “It is
from God that parents receive their children, and it is to God
that they should lead them.” (quoted on p. 146)
Review: “What we saw in the
previous chapter was that this flesh-and-blood drama of the love
between Christ and the church is the God-designed setting for
making children—and for making them disciples of Jesus.” (p.
147)
What is the essence of the
Christian “nest” of child-raising?
“if we are Christians, we say
that the very essence of that nest is the flesh-and-blood drama
created by a husband and a wife living and showing and teaching
the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church. That
activity is the essence of the nest.” (p. 148)
What is supposed to happen in
this drama of Christ & the church for the sake of the children
within it?
Fathers have the leading (not
sole) responsibility in raising children
This is a natural extension of
his leading responsibility in the marriage
“That is what it means to be a
married man: sacrificial, loving headship in relationship to our
wives, and firm, tender leadership in relationship to the united
task of raising our children in the Lord.” (p. 149)
“What does Ephesians 6:4 call
a father to do?” (p. 149)
Why does Paul focus on anger in
the relationship between fathers and children?
“Why this one? Why not, don’t
discourage them? Or pamper them? Or tempt them to covet or lie or
steal? Why not, don’t abuse them? Or neglect them? Or set a bad
example for them? Or manipulate them?” (p. 150)
Piper's guess, based on what he
knows from Scripture & life:
1) “because anger is the most
common emotion of the sinful heart when it confronts authority.”
(p. 150)
“I think Paul is saying that
there is going to be plenty of anger with the best of parenting,
so make every effort, without compromising your authority or
truth or holiness, to avoid provoking anger.” (p. 150)
2) because anger “devours
almost all other good emotions.” (p. 150)
“It deadens the soul. It
numbs the heart to joy and gratitude and hope and tenderness and
compassion and kindness. So Paul knows that if a dad can help a
child not be overcome by anger, he may unlock his heart to a
dozen other precious emotions that make worship possible and
make relationships sweet.” (p. 150)
Have you ever been angry on
the way to church? Or at church? Do you feel like worshiping
or singing when you're angry?
A child's anger is not
necessarily the result of the father's provoking
“The point [of verse 4] is to
warn fathers that there is a huge temptation to say things and do
things and neglect things that will cause legitimately
avoidable anger in our children.” (p. 151)
How can we (especially fathers)
diminish or remove anger in ourselves and our children before it
happens?
“God has never done anything
that should legitimately cause anger in any of his children.”
(p. 151)
Yet we get angry with Him at
times
Yet further still, He has taken
the initiative to overcome our anger & repair the relationship
we have broken
“Our Father is not just
telling us not to be angry; rather, at great cost to himself, he
is overcoming his anger and our anger in the death
of Jesus.” (p. 152)
“So, fathers, imitate your
heavenly Father. Take initiatives, no matter how painful to you
or how out of character they may feel, to prevent or diminish the
anger of your children.” (p. 152)
“don’t just stop
doing things that provoke anger; start doing things that
prevent and overcome anger. Start doing things that awaken in the
heart of a child other wonderful emotions so that they are not
devoured by anger—the great emotion eater.”
“The main task in all this is
that you overcome your own anger and replace it with tenderhearted
joy. Joy that spills over onto your children.” (p. 152)
“being the kind of father God
calls us to be means being the kind of Christian and the kind of
husband God calls us to be.” (p. 152)
What is the key to overcoming
anger and replacing it with joy?
“Being a Christian means
receiving forgiveness freely from God for all our failures and all
our anger. It means letting the smile of God in Christ melt the
decades of hard, numbing, emotionless, low-grade anger. And then
we let that healing flow to others. “Let all . . . anger . . .
be put away from you. . . . Be kind to one another, tenderhearted,
forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph.
4:31–32). God for- gave you. God has been kind to you. God is
tenderhearted to you. It is all because of Christ. Therefore, in
Christ, by the Spirit, fathers, we can do this. We can put away
anger, and we can forgive, and we can experience and awaken in our
children tenderheartedness with a whole array of precious emotions
that may have been eaten up by anger. Those emotions can live
again. In you. And in your children.” (p. 153)
“God does not call us to do
this before he does it for us. That’s the gospel. Before he
commands us to love the way he does (5:1), he forgives all our
failures to love. Get this, fathers! I am not calling you to love
your children like this so that you will have a Father in
heaven who is for you. It’s the other way around. I am telling
you that God, by the sacrifice and obedience of his Son, Jesus,
through faith alone, has already become totally for you.”
(p. 153)
“It is a
beautiful unity: first, marriage as the display of
covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church, and second,
marriage as the place where children taste and see and flourish in
that very Christ-sustained, covenant-keeping love. The two are
one.” (p. 154)
Do you ever feel anxious as a parent? I do. I’ll be the first to raise my hand. I’ll raise both hands!
All kinds of things contribute to this anxiety. Our culture encourages us to work ourselves to death and work our children to death so we can be successful. But this drive to succeed and consume more and more stuff can make us spiritually sick inside. Some have called it “affluenza”.
We’re so focused on earning money and spending money, meeting deadlines and reaching goals, that we drive ourselves crazy.
God has a word for us anxious parents. Psalm 127:3 says, “It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.”
Have you ever wondered why God made us in such a way that we have to sleep away a third of our lives? Isn’t that crazy? Think of how many hours we could be doing other things. Why did he make us that way? Why do we need sleep? Sleep is a gift from God. It reminds us that we are not God. God wants us to rest in him.
Read the full article here to see how the author fleshes out his answers to these questions.
With kids heading back to school, and the Life Group nearing the end of our study of John Piper's This Momentary Marriage, this quote jumped out at me:
“The example the husband sets has eternal consequences. This means headship is more about controlling one’s character than controlling one’s wife. The man who is more concerned with how his wife should obey him than with how he should obey God fails the kindergarten of biblical headship.”~Bryan Chappell, Each for the Other, p. 78
How can sex proceed from faith?
How does faith impact sex in marriage?
How can the love of money be
like the love of sex?
Notes & Quotes
Dietrich Bonhoeffer: “Even our
bodies belong to Christ and have their part in the life of
discipleship, for they are members of his Body.” (quoted on p.
126)
“God did not make this massive
capacity for pleasure merely to make sure there would be a new
generation.” (p. 127)
“the ultimate meaning of
marital sex is about the final delights between Christ and his
church.” (p. 127)
“Just as the heavens are
telling the glory of God’s power and beauty, so sexual climax is
telling the glory of immeasurable delights that we will have with
Christ in the age to come.” (p. 128)
We cannot imagine the eternal
pleasures that David speaks of in Psalm 16:11 any more than a
toddler can imagine the pleasures of sex
Sex in marriage is the private
scenes of the drama of Christ and the Church, meant to be
witnessed only by the spouses, and God
Money & sex are two big
trouble spots in many marriages, as power & pleasure are
pursued in relation to both
Anything that does not come from
faith is sin (see Romans 14:23)
“Guard sexual relations in
marriage by not doing anything that does not come from faith.”
(p. 129)
How does faith produce sexual
attitudes & actions that are not sin?
“God has made such comforting,
reassuring, hope-inspiring promises in his Word ... that if we
have faith in these promises, we will be content. And contentment
is the antidote to the love of money and the antidote for all
sexual sin.” (p. 130)
“Sin is what you feel and
think and do when you are not taking God at his word and resting
in his promises. So the command of Hebrews 13:4 can be stated like
this: Let your sexual relations be free from any act or attitude
that does not come from faith in God’s word. Or to put it
positively: Have those attitudes and do those acts in your marital
sexual relations that grow out of the contentment that comes from
confidence in God’s promises.” (p. 130)
“If I am content through faith
in God’s promises, why should I even seek sexual gratification
at all?” (p. 130)
1) Maybe you shouldn't seek it,
but should stay single (see chapter 9)
2) “The contentment of faith
does not take [sexual appetite] away any more than it takes away
hunger and weariness.”
“What ... does contentment
mean in relation to ongoing sexual desire?” (p. 130)
1) If the desire is denied by
remaining single, God will provide an added measure of help &
fellowship through faith in Him and His promises
“If Paul could learn to be
content in hunger, then we can learn to be content if God
chooses not to give us sexual gratification.” (p. 130)
2) If that desire is offered to
us in marriage, we will seek it and enjoy it only in ways that
reflect our faith in God and His promises.
“while the contentment of
faith does not put an end to our hunger, weariness, or sexual
appetite, it does transform the way we go about satisfying those
desires.” (p. 131)
“Faith doesn’t stop us
from eating, but it stops gluttony; it doesn’t stop sleep, but
it keeps us from being a sluggard. It doesn’t stop sexual
appetite but . . . But what?” (p. 131)
If faith doesn't stop or take
away our sex drive, what does it do?
1) “faith honors the body and
its appetites as God’s good gifts.” (p. 131)
Sex that proceeds from faith
is not dirty within marriage
2) Faith frees us from the
guilt of the past and increases the joy of sex in marriage
“All of us have committed
sins that, though forgiven, make our present life more
problematic than if we hadn’t committed them.” (p. 132)
“But I don’t want to give
the impression that Christ is powerless against such scars. He
may not remove all the problems that these scars cause us, but
he has promised to work even in all these problems for our good
if we love him and are called according to his purpose (Rom.
8:28).” (p. 132)
“Christ died not only that
in him we might have guilt-free sexual relations in marriage,
but also that he might then, even through our scars, convey to
us some spiritual good.” (p. 132)
“Do we guard ourselves from
Satan with the shield of faith or the shield of sex?” (p. 133)
“The answer for married
people is that faith makes use of sexual intercourse as a means
of grace. For the people God leads into marriage, sexual
relations are a God-ordained means of overcoming temptation to
sin (the sin of adultery, the sin of sexual fantasizing, the sin
of pornography). Faith humbly accepts such gifts and offers
thanks.” (p. 133)
Important point in 1 Corinthians
7:3-5 – Paul “does not encourage the husband or wife who wants
sexual gratification to seize it without concern for the other’s
needs. Instead, he urges both husband and wife to always be ready
to give his or her body when the other wants it.” (p. 133-134)
“If it is the joy of each to
make the other happy, a hundred problems will be solved before
they happen.” (p. 134)
In this way, sex is like a
microcosm of the marriage as a whole – finding joy in making
your spouse happy
“Husbands, if it is your joy
to bring her satisfaction, you will be sensitive to what she needs
and wants. … you will find in the long run that it is more
blessed to give than to receive.” (p. 134)
“The goal is to outdo one
another in giving what the other wants (Rom. 12:10). Both of you,
make it your aim to satisfy each other as fully as possible.”
(p. 134)
Questions to think about as to
whether our marriage bed is undefiled – if our sex proceeds from
our faith:
“Does what I am feeling or
doing have its roots in the contentment of faith or in the
anxious insecurity of unbelief?” (p. 135)
“Do my cravings conform to
the contentment of faith or contradict it?” (p. 135)
These questions apply to all
of life
“the impact of faith on three
aspects of sexual relations in marriage.” (p. 135)
1) “faith believes God when
he says that sexual relations in marriage are good and clean and
should be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and
know the truth.” (p. 135)
2) “faith increases the joy
of sexual relations in marriage because it frees us from the
guilt of the past. Faith believes the promise that Christ died
for all our sins, that in him we might have guilt-free,
Christ-exalting sexual relations in marriage.” (p. 135)
3) “faith wields the weapon
of sexual intercourse against Satan. A married couple gives a
severe blow to the head of that ancient serpent when they aim to
give as much sexual satisfaction to each other as possible. Is it
not a mark of amazing grace that on top of all the pleasure that
the sexual side of marriage brings, it also proves to be a
fearsome weapon against our ancient foe?” (p. 135)
“Marriage
at its exquisite peak of pleasure speaks powerfully the truth of
covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church. And that love
is the most powerful force in the world. It is not surprising then
that Satan’s defeat, Christ’s glory, and our pleasure should
come together in this undefiled marriage bed.” (p. 135)
Here's the song I referenced this morning in class. The line that stood out to me as I was thinking about being stewards of God's varied grace (1 Peter 4:10) was this: "See your money, your singleness, marriage, talents, your time / they were loaned to you to show the world that Christ is Divine." Below the video are the lyrics I tried to gather online & edit as I listened.
(RSS/Email subscribers may need to click through to see the video)
I know a lot of people that are scared they gonna die
couple of 'em thinking they’ll be livin’ in the sky
but while I’m here livin’ man I gotta ask why, what am here fo I gotta figure out
waste my life
no I gotta make it count
if Christ is real then what am I gonna do about
everything in Luke 12:15 down to 21
you really oughta go and check it out
Paul said if Christ ain’t resurrected we wastin' our lives
well that implies that our life’s built around Jesus being alive
everyday I’m living tryin’ show the world why
Christ is more than everything you’ll ever try
better than pretty women and sinning and living to get a minute of any women and men that you admire
it ain’t no lie
We created for Him
outta the dust he made us for Him
Elects us and he saves us for Him
Jesus comes and He raises for Him
Magnify the Father why bother with something lesser
He made us so we could bless Him and to the world we confess Him
resurrects Him
so I know I got life
matter fact better man I know I got Christ
if you don’t see His ways in my days and nights
you can hit my brakes you can stop my lights
man I lost my rights
I lost my life
forget the money cars and toss that ice
the cost is Christ
and they could never offer me anything on the planet that’ll cost that price.
Suffer
Yeah do it for Christ if you trying to figure what to do with your life
if you making a lot money hope you doing it right because the money is Gods you better steward it right
stay focused if you ain’t got no ride
your life ain’t wrapped up in what you drive
the clothes you wear the job you work
the color your skin naw you Christian first
people get their living for a job
make a little money start living for a car
get em a wife a house kids and a dog
when they retire they living high on the hog
but guess what they didn’t ever really live at all
to live is Christ and that’s Paul I recall
to die is gain so for Christ we give it all
he’s the treasure you’ll never find in the mall
See your money your singleness marriage talents your time
they were loaned to you to show the world that Christ is Divine
that’s why it’s Christ in my rhyme
That’s why it’s Christ all the time
see my whole world is built around him He’s the life in my lines
I refused to waste my life
he’s too true to chase that ice
here’s my gifts and time cause I’m constantly trying to be used to praise the Christ
If he’s truly raised to life
then this news should change your life
and by his grace you can put your faith in the place that rules your days and nights.
“Why is there a chapter on
singleness in a book on marriage?” (p. 105)
1) To keep us from idolizing
marriage
The point has been made time &
time again that marriage is a picture of Christ and the church.
Anytime you emphasize & repeat something as glorious as
that, it lends itself to idolizing that thing – turning a good
thing into an idol
We need to remember that
Christ is who we should worship, not marriage or our spouse
2) To show single readers a
fuller picture of how singleness & marriage relate to each
other and God's purposes
3) To motivate single &
married people to be part of the family of God that Christ died
to create & which will endure forever
Main point of this chapter: “God
promises those who remain single in Christ blessings that are
better than the blessings of marriage and children” (p. 106)
What truths shine more brightly
through singleness than through marriage?
1) The family of God grows by
regeneration through faith in Christ, not by sexual reproduction
2) Relationships in Christ are
more permanent & precious than relationships in families
3) Marriage is temporary &
gives way to the reality it displays & points to
4) Faithfulness to Christ
defines the value of life – the relationship to Christ is
ultimate & doesn't require marriage or children
Rephrasing of main point: “God
promises spectacular blessings to those of you who remain single
in Christ, and he gives you an extraordinary calling for your
life. To be single in Christ is, therefore, not a falling short of
God’s best, but a path of Christ-exalting, covenant-keeping
obedience that many are called to walk.” (p. 106-107)
Throughout most of the history
of God's people, physical offspring was a huge part of God's
promises & fulfillment. Consider:
God's promise to Adam & Eve
of a son who would crush the serpent's head
God's promise to Abraham &
Sarah of natural born offspring that would outnumber the dust of
the earth
God's promise that it would be
through Isaac that Abraham's offspring would be reckoned (as
opposed to Eliezer of Damascus, possibly Abraham's slave, not his
nephew Lot, not Ishmael)
God becomes known as the God of
Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
Israel becomes identified by
tribes named after Jacob's sons, all the way down to the point
where the apostle Paul says he could boast of being a
Benjaminite.
The promise to David that his
throne would be established forever. From this kingly line
Christ Himself was born.
Physical offspring had
everything to do with inheritance and legacy and perpetuating the
family name
Levirate marriage – where a
man would marry his deceased brother's wife and their first son
would take the name of the deceased brother
Deuteronomy 25:6: “The first
son whom she bears shall succeed to the name of his dead
brother, that his name may not be blotted out of Israel.”
Boaz married Ruth to preserve
the name/line of Elimilech & Mahlon (Ruth 4:10)
Yet in Isaiah, God's promise is
even “without marriage and without children, these
covenant-keeping eunuchs get a name and a memorial better than
sons and daughters.” (p. 109)
“Where did this amazing
promise come from? What’s the basis of it, and what is it
pointing toward?” (p. 109)
Isaiah 53 – the suffering
servant “shall see his offspring”
“Here is a great prophecy:
When the Messiah dies as “an offering for guilt” and rises
again to “prolong his days” forever, he will by that great
saving act produce many children: He will “see his offspring.”
In other words, the new people of God formed by the Messiah will
not be formed by physical procreation but by the atoning death of
Christ.” (p. 109)
How does the New Testament speak
to this promise, this change from physical offspring to spiritual
offspring?
Jesus – John 3:3 – “unless
one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God”
Paul – Galatians 3:7,26 –
“Know then that it is those of faith who are the sons of
Abraham. . . . in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through
faith.”
Peter – 1 Peter 1:3-4 –
“According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born
again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ
from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled,
and unfading, kept in heaven for you”
John – John 1:12-13 – “But
to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the
right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor
of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.”
“Children are born into God’s
family and receive their inheritance not by marriage and
procreation but by faith and regeneration. Which means that
single people in Christ have zero disadvantage in bearing
children for God and may, in some ways, have a great advantage.”
(p. 110)
“Single person, married
person, do you want children, mothers, brothers, sisters, lands?
Renounce the primacy of your natural relationships, and follow
Jesus into the fellowship of the people of God.” (p. 112)
In college, my best friend and
I were both skinny, blond, Scandinavians, and a lot of people
confused us for each other and a lot asked if we were brothers.
Most of the time we'd just laugh and say no. It wasn't until
after college that I started to really learn about what it means
that the Church is the Body of Christ, and the family of God. I
wish I could go back to college and confirm to everyone who asked
that yes, we are brothers. Blood brothers. We were both
redeemed and adopted because of the blood of Christ.
“Jesus approves some of his
followers’ renouncing marriage and sexual activity for the sake
of serving Christ’s kingdom.” – Matthew 19:12; 1
Corinthians 7:8, 32-33, 35
“Someone might ask, wouldn’t
it be better to have both—the blessings of marriage and the
blessings of heaven? There are two answers to that question. One
is that you will find out someday, and better to learn it now,
that the blessings of being with Christ in heaven are so far
superior to the blessings of being married and raising children
that asking this question will be like asking, wouldn’t it be
better to have the ocean and also the thimbleful? But that’s not
the answer you wanted. So here is another one: Marriage and
singleness both present us with unique trials and unique
opportunities for our sanctification—our preparation for heaven.
There will be unique rewards for each. Which is greater will not
depend on whether you were married or single, but on how you
responded to each.” (p. 113)
Four truths that shine brighter
through singleness than marriage (repeated from earlier in the
chapter):
1) “the family of God grows
not by propagation through sexual intercourse, but by
regeneration through faith in Christ” (p. 113)
2) “relationships in Christ
are more permanent, and more precious, than relationships in
families” (p. 113)
3) “marriage is temporary and
finally gives way to the relationship to which it was pointing
all along: Christ and the church—the way a picture is no longer
needed when you see face-to-face” (p. 114)
4) “faithfulness to Christ
defines the value of life; all other relationships get their
final significance from this. No family relationship is ultimate;
relationship to Christ is.” (p. 114)
“Marriage has its unique
potential for magnifying Christ that singleness does not have.
Singleness has its unique potential for magnifying Christ that
marriage does not have. To God be glory in the Christ-exalting
drama of marriage and in the Christ-exalting drama of the single
life.” (p. 114)
Chapter 10: Singleness,
Marriage, and the Christian Virtue of Hospitality
How many single friends (or
neighbors, co-workers, relatives) do you & your spouse have?
What do you think of when you
think of stewardship? Do you ever think of stewarding God's
grace?
Notes & Quotes
Dietrich Bonhoeffer – “The
physical presence of other Christians is a source of incomparable
joy and strength to the believer. . . . The prisoner, the sick
person, the Christian in exile sees in the companionship of a
fellow Christian a physical sign of the gracious presence of the
triune God. Visitor and visited in loneliness recognize in each
other the Christ who is present in the body; they receive and meet
each other as one meets the Lord, in reverence, humility, and joy.
. . . It is true, of course that what is an unspeakable gift of
God for the lonely individual is easily disregarded and trodden
under foot by those who have the gift every day.” (quoted on p.
116)
Christ is magnified by married
and single people serving each other
Why didn't God just create us as
angels to praise Him & not be able to speak to each other?
Why didn't He create us to only have a relationship with Him and
no one else? Why did He create the physical world?
“God made bodies and material
things because when they are rightly seen and rightly used, God’s
glory is more fully known and displayed. The heavens are telling
the glory of God (Ps. 19:1). That’s why the physical universe
exists.” (p. 119)
“The material world is not an
end in itself; it is designed to display God’s glory and to
awaken our hearts to know him and value him more.” (p. 119)
Good gifts from God are not to
be idolized, but to be used for our good & joy in ways that
worship Christ and make much of Him – sex, food, all of creation
is good, but it is not God, it is not to be worshiped above the
Creator
We don't solve the idolatry of
sex & food by mere avoidance
Am I crazy to suggest that as
if we ignore & avoid food, we will die, that so in our
marriages if we ignore & avoid sex, our marriages will
suffer?
“We make sex holy by using it
according to the word of God in Christ-dependent prayer.” (p.
120)
Like everything else God
created, marriage & singleness are both designed, not to be
worshiped, but to display the glory of Christ
“Marriage and celibacy
can be idolatrous. Spouses
can worship each other or worship sex or worship their children or
worship double-income-no-kid buying power. Singles can worship
autonomy and independence. Singles can look on marriage as a
second-class Christian compromise with the sexual drive. Married
people can look upon singleness as a mark of immaturity or
irresponsibility or incompetence.” (p. 120)
There are Christ-exalting ways
to be married & single.
1 Corinthians 7:9 – when a man
marries, “he takes his sexual desire, and he does the same thing
with it that we must all do with all our physical desires
if we would make them means of worship:” (p. 121)
1) “he brings it into
conformity to God’s word” (p. 121)
2) “he subordinates it to a
higher pattern of love and care” (p. 121)
3) “he transposes the music
of physical pleasure into the music of spiritual worship” (p.
121)
4) “he listens for the echoes
of God’s goodness in every nerve” (p. 121)
5) “he seeks to double his
pleasure by making her joy his joy” (p. 121)
6) “he gives thanks to God
from the bottom of his heart because he knows and he feels that
he never deserved one minute of this pleasure.” (p. 121)
Verse 7 – We are in the last
days and Christ could return at any time.
So seek Him in the Word, in
prayer, in His body – the church, so that when He comes He
will not be a stranger
Seek His grace & mercy &
strength to endure these last days
Verse 8 – There is tremendous
stress in the last days
Will this stress ruin our
relationships or will we remain firm in love, exhibited in
forbearance and forgiveness?
Verse 9 – “Love covers much
of what makes us grumble. So hospitality without grumbling is the
calling of Christians in the last days. In the very days when
your stress is high, and there are sins that need covering, and
reasons to grumble abound—in those very days, Peter says, what
we need to do is practice hospitality.” (p. 122)
Because God has opened His
heart to us, we can have open hearts and open our doors to
others in hospitality
Verse 10 – “... serve one
another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.”
We usually think of
stewardship in terms of money; and maybe secondarily in terms of
time.
But we are called to be
stewards of God's grace – indeed, all we have, our money,
possessions, time, abilities, etc., are all gifts of God
This flows naturally from the
concept Piper introduced in chapter 3 – of receiving God's
grace (vertically) and bending it out towards others
(horizontally)
“Every Christian is a
steward—a custodian, a manager, a warden, a distributor, a
servant—of God’s varied grace.” (p. 122-123)
Hospitality is an example of
stewardship of time & possessions
“If you are afraid of
hospitality—that you don’t have much personal strength or
personal wealth—good. Then you won’t intimidate anybody. You
will depend all the more on God’s grace. You will look all the
more to the work of Christ and not your own work. And what a
blessing people will get in your simple home or your little
apartment.” (p. 123)
Piper's definition: “the
Christian virtue of hospitality—a Christ-exalting strategy of
love in the last days.” (p. 123)
Applications
1) For everyone – “If you
belong to Christ, if you have by faith received his saving
hospitality, which he paid for with his own blood, then extend
this hospitality to others. Romans 15:7: “Welcome one another
as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.” You live on
free grace every day. Be a good steward of it in hospitality.”
(p 123)
2) For married couples –
include single people in your hospitality, of all ages &
types – never married, divorced, widowed, young & old,
friends, family, co-workers, brothers & sisters in Christ
When including younger people
in particular, this can be a great opportunity for discipleship
– to show them to some measure what a Christian
marriage/family looks like
3) For single people –
include married couples & families in your hospitality
Life Groups
in general are set up to bring people together around a similar
life stage, which is good. But that shouldn't prevent us from
developing relationships outside of our life stage. Particularly
within the church. What unites us is the most important thing in
all of human history or existence – the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Let our hospitality display God's grace in our lives, and point to
the ultimate family reality that comes through adoption into God's
family.
